stepping out of your comfort zone. ouch. December 5, 2009
The Lord has really been challenging me these past months in stepping out of the box that I’VE put myself in. We all have areas in our lives where we’re satisfied with the little village we’ve built around ourselves. These boxes or walls that we’ve built around ourselves. What we’re comfortable with and without. Who we’ve defined ourselves to be. We’re ok with THIS, but most definitely NOT with THAT!! Not REALLY wanting change. Don’t want anyone to come and ‘mess’ it up, ’cause it’s fine just the way it is. I find myself sometimes having strange obsessive moments like these, do you?? If we’re honest, I think we all can recognize areas in our lives where we’ve subconsciously or even intentionally/consciously defined ourselves by who we ARE NOT. But recently I felt the challenge has been this hard question, “WHY???”
Why am I constantly defining myself by who I am not vs. who I really, truly am??? Why do I waste my time and energy? But I’m aware of this, but why don’t I want to change it? It’s like my heart wants the change, but everything on the outside is screaming, “just leave it be, that’s who you are!” Why don’t I want anyone ‘messing’ with things? Why do I clump myself into a certain group of who I AM and who I AM NOT?? Why do I CHOOSE to put myself in that box? Why not choose truth? Why not recognize who God has made me (us) to be? Why not spend the energy on things that are fruitful and transforming instead of destructive and enslaving?
I’ve been awakened. It’s a bit of a shock, but it’s reality. It’s truth. And I feel freedom coming into areas of my life that I NEVER thought even mattered.
This dialogue or conversation within was sparked after attending a weekend of 24-7 prayer and worship at a house of prayer not far from Trondheim. It was amazing to get away for a weekend with several friends and just soak in the presence of God. I felt that I was set free from several things and this very thing was one of them! Thank you Jesus!
A guy shared about different stations around the room that were ‘interactive’ and that we could visit any of them throughout the weekend. As I walked in I noticed all the paints, canvases, markers, pencils, drawing paper in the “Creative Corner” and in my head I said, “that’s the LAST place you’ll find me this weekend!” <—- there it is, do you see it? THE LIE! But it’s subtle. It’s been there for so long that I’ve begun to define myself by it, lock myself in it’s prison and to even expect myself to respond to situations like this, in this same way, like always….the lie that I’m not creative, or at least, “not like THAT”.
As I shared this with my friends Reidun & Line who came with me, they too, said they didn’t feel creative in that way. It was in that moment that we decided to CHOOSE. We have a choice. So often we’re the ones who hold ourselves back, aren’t we?? But why??? Because we’re afraid what we’re going to look like? What people are going to think of us? What they’ll say? We won’t be the best or good enough in others eye’s? That we’ll fail? It’s like God has given us all these talents, gifts and endless amounts of creativity, specifically for purpose and specifically within each one of us. I think that we haven’t even begun to tap into what He has for us because we decide to not recognize His beautiful gifts for/within us & go on defining ourselves by our lack/inability. This is bondage, right? God never put these limitations on us. We chose to put them upon ourselves. But I was awakened while this man talked and we shared together. God came and shone His light. He brought revelation. He came that we’d have life & life to the fullest, and there is true FREEDOM!!
(***Side note*** After this weekend I felt God also challenging me to step out and to play the guitar during a worship & prayer meeting we had. It was a vulnerable place for me, but I honestly hardly remember playing ’cause I truly felt the grace of God come over me. It was incredible. It was fun. I’ll continue to be open to step out of my comfort zone as the Lord leads in this area.) So we decided that we were going to get together and we were going to paint. Just to try it. I’ve painted/drawn in art classes, etc. but never for fun, it always just stressed me out. I do recall telling an old roommate of mine that I wished we all just lived in a stick person world, ’cause it would be so much easier, ’cause I couldn’t draw. So earlier this week we had a fun painting/creative night! We felt safe to express ourselves in maybe a different way than we were used to since all of us were in the same boat. And the results??? It was great!! We prayed and listened to music and allowed ourselves to just be free. It was quite liberating for me and I think I can speak for the other girls & say it was for them as well. TRUTH=WE ARE CREATIVE. WHY?? because God’s put that within all of us, it’s just going to look different and THAT’S OK! My painting will never look the same as Line’s or Reidun’s and it shouldn’t! ‘Cause we have different hands, diff. minds, diff. influences, diff. paint mixtures, etc. etc.
As we were praying I felt that the Lord highlighted something. I felt that He was showing me about how much we compare ourselves with one another, esp. females. We go throughout our lives measuring, comparing, competing and wishing for things we don’t have–once again, defining ourselves by our LACK. But I felt that God spoke to me about this topic and said, “It’s over!” “Stop comparing!” I had this thought that brought things into perspective…for example, if I’m a pear, why would I even look at an orange and try to make myself become one? they’re not the same. period. they’re different. I felt that God was like,”Why would you even think that comparing yourself to someone else was what I had intended for you? You’re never going to be that person. They’re never going to be you. I don’t want you to be that person. I want you to be YOU.”
All of this to say, God is really ‘causing me to think outside of my ‘box’ and trust in Him. To take leaps of faith. His grace truly IS ENOUGH!! Lean not on my own understanding, right?? Trust in the Lord with ALL MY HEART! He wants us free and free to love Him and ourselves. We’re His creation, the works of His hands. Rejoice in the freedom of being you and stop saying you’re not creative, because YOU ARE!!! 
the christmas feeling is here :) December 5, 2009
Me at a Christmas market in Gamle Stan(old town) in Stockholm,Sweden
God Jul from the roomies!
Swedish paper star in our living room
this one is going out to my girl! December 5, 2009
A week ago I said goodbye to one of my dearest friends, Ane. She’s been a part of our Quest family for the past few years, though it honestly feels like I’ve known her forever. I thank God that our paths crossed and for the ways she’s been an amazing blessing to me personally. It’s sad to say goodbye, but I know that even though she’s not physically here in the mustache city 
she’s still in Norway and of course we have facebook & skype to keep in touch!
I’d love to ask you guys to join with me in praying for her. Sadly, she’s been sick nearly as long as I have been, and still hasn’t been diagnosed with anything tangible. Due to circumstances, she’s now moved back home to the south of Norway. Please join with me in praying that she finds out what’s wrong and what’s making her tired. That she’d be restored completely and able to function normally & that she’d continue to press on no matter what the situations around her may hold.
Today I’m thinking about you and missing you!!
I LOVE YOU ANE!!!
Had a perfect last girls night-even w/ Ben & Jerry’s!!
Thankful November 26, 2009
Here’s an email I just sent out in light of Thanksgiving!
I just wanted to send out a little thank you. I hope you’re enjoying the wonderful turkey day, I’ll be having lasagna this Thanksgiving with my roomie, Linn, so think of me as you take a big ‘ole bite of the stuffing & gravy
I want you to know that in spite of the continual fight with mono, I’ve been so encouraged and thankful for the past months. I have had a lot of time to reflect on my time spent here in Norway as well-going on 4 years! The ups and downs. The amazing people. Friends. University. Norway. Times of laughing, crying, frustration, joy, excitement and hope. I have so much to be thankful for today. I’m thankful that I get to serve a God who is love and who has revealed that love to me. I’m fortunate to be here to see with my eyes some of the fruit and the investment we’ve labored for these past years. The significant impact that Jesus has made within my heart and the hearts of the students I’m running with, it’s priceless. We long to see more happen here in Trondheim, but we can step back in this season and be thankful for all that God has done in our midst!
On top of that, I have amazing people supporting me, encouraging me, praying for and with me, and partnering in this mission! For you, wherever you are, I will be forever grateful, for without this support, friendship and backing, I would not be where I am today. So, THANK YOU!
I pray that today you’ll take the time to reflect on all that God has blessed you with this past year. Recognizing His faithfulness in all areas. Be encouraged that He’s always been near to you and that His love is never ending.
Thinking of you today,
Kelly
“I have not stopped giving thanks for you, remembering you in my prayers. I keep asking that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, may give you the Spirit of wisdom and revelation, so that you may know him better. I pray also that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints, and his incomparably great power for us who believe.” Eph 1:16-19
something simply amazing November 18, 2009
I just wanted to bring attention to what God is doing at the International House of Prayer(IHOP) through students. The Lord is moving very powerfully and there are many testimonies of people being physically healed, as well as emotionally being restored. I’ve been watching via the webstream and it has been extremely uplifting and freeing. Jesus has no boundaries!! hehehe
For testimonies/webstream/etc. check it out at http://www.ihop.org/Publisher/Article.aspx?ID=1000060205
Here is a brief quote from the page about the history of God moving through Universities:
“Throughout history, college and university campuses in our nation have been an epicenter and a catalyst for spiritual awakening. Since the 1700s, our nation has witnessed multiple moves of the Holy Spirit that have touched and awakened students on college campuses, including Princeton University, Yale University, Asbury College, Wheaton College, and more than a dozen other college campuses. These spiritual awakenings often progressed beyond the campuses and resulted in a great number of souls being added to the kingdom of God. History also attests to a strong correlation between spiritual awakening and missionary movements. We pray that this spiritual awakening that is touching IHOPU and the rest of our IHOP–KC Missions Base will break out all over our nation in different cities.”
And if I were to add something to it…and in nations all over the earth!! especially…NORWAY!! He is the same God, same Jesus, the same Holy Spirit, and He can do it here too!! So let it be so Lord. Move on the Universities!!
there is so much more… November 18, 2009
I’ve found myself saying this a lot lately. There is SO MUCH MORE! I’m not satisfied. My life is about more! I’m made for more than just the temporary. I can be living for more, NOW! What’s stopping me?? Many times, it’s plain old, ME! Or in my case now, I’ve given mono too much credit. I wasn’t made by a God who desperately loves me and has a purpose for me, in order to lay in bed for days at a time! There is MORE! Sickness is NOT my identity!!! But like many other things in our lives, it has somehow seeped in & has strangely become a part of me. and I have to continually fight and say I DON’T LIKE THAT! It’s not my portion. I have a greater value. Why do we find it so easy to SETTLE in our every day lives? No matter what it may be. We continue to go on as usual, accepting things for what they are and neglecting the very One who’s given us life and who wants to mend that life? And life abundant, I may add. I know that mono can take ages to get over don’t get me wrong, but I also believe in a God who is all powerful and who heals!! So, I find myself challenged to sign up again. KEEP PRAYING! Don’t stop asking. Continue to ask for healing. To even pray more and more these days. I’m stirred to know Jesus more. I’m not satisfied with the negative thoughts and things I’ve allowed to come to rule in my life, either! Even the things that seem ‘harmless’. I need to set my mind and eyes on things that are above! I need to allow Jesus to come and speak truth over me. And I pray this for you too. That you’d continually be drawn closer to Jesus, the only one who brings true freedom and purpose. That you’d be woken up out of slumber and stop settling for less than what God’s called you to. That you’d be filled with that abundant life and that you’d NEVER GIVE UP!
I’ve also been feeling a strong challenge from the Lord to pray for faith to rise. For faith to fill my heart. That all unbelief would be removed and that I’d only have space for the things of God-esp. faith, hope, & love. For faith to rise in the hearts of the students I work along side with. Oh GOD, that you’d continually stir in their hearts to know you more! That you’d come and take away any form of unbelief and lack of hope. That you’d fill them with the knowledge of you. That you’d increase in their lives and that it would just bubble over onto their peers! For faith to rise in Trondheim. In the Christian’s hearts, that you’d kick out unbelief. Where people say you’re not able, God, come and bring truth. YOU ARE THE GOD WHO IS ABLE! AND THERE IS SO MUCH MORE!!
I believe this will all of my heart. And the best thing about Jesus, is that He wants the ‘more’ to be today! Now! So Lord, I pray that you’d pour out more today!
couldn’t be more thankful October 25, 2009
It was so great to have Chuck here visiting this past week. I feel so thankful and blessed to be a part of this ministry and connected to him & his family. I couldn’t have asked for better spiritual mentors than Chuck & Sally! I love you guys!! We were blessed to have Chuck share for a small student seminar on “The Father Heart of God” last Saturday. My heart was changed as he had us listen to a prophetic song sung by a leader at IHOP(house of prayer). I’m pretty sure there wasn’t a dry eye in this place after listening to the truth of how God feels about us. His love is never changing. It’s w/o conditions. Unconditional Love from the Father. Freeing. Releasing. Changing our hearts as we allow this truth to touch us deeply. He sees everything. He knows our weak attempts to please and love Him. He smiles. He rejoices over us. Singing. Dancing. He’s not disappointed in us. He sees our sacrifices. He delights in us. We can rest in the knowledge that our God loves us, period.
Chuck came right when I really needed some wisdom & encouragement too. God knows what we need, it’s amazing! I feel that since I’ve had so much time to myself lately that having a visitor was so good for me! Don’t get me wrong, I’m coveting the times I’ve had alone with Jesus & listening to the prayer room for hours, it’s really stirring something w/in & causing me to really pine for more of Jesus in my every day life! But to see a familiar (American) face, w/ Reeses in hand, made me super glad!!!
Also because I recently found out that I’m unable to renew my work permit to stay in Norway. It will expire as of July/Aug 2010 and the woman at the police station so kindly highlighted & underlined that it can never be renewed, ever! This came as a shock to me, since I thought I’d be able to renew it AND because more recently I’ve been thinking/praying about what it would be like to stay in Norway longer. I’m in a place of having so many dreams for Norway and wanting to see something established here, so as of now, thinking about leaving is a very hard thing. I want to do what God wants, so I’m really praying and seeking Him to give me wisdom during this time. Chuck and I did some brief investigating as far as visa/work permit stuff goes. I hope to go back down to the police station with a Norwegian to get more answers, soon! So I’ll keep you posted. I’m dependent upon the leading of God, so I know(without a doubt) that it’ll be good, whatever happens, wherever I stay/go/end up. I trust in His leadership over my life and will continually seek direction, wisdom & strength from the best source!!
Would you partner with me though?? PLEASE PRAY for open doors, favor with the Norwegian government/visa/permit control & and a true leading of what the future is supposed to be. TUSEN TAKK
Also, I couldn’t be more thankful to be connected to some of the most amazing friends here in Trondheim. A true community of love has formed!! I get to hang out with them, pray with them, worship Jesus together with them, go through ups & downs together, plan ministry, dare to dream with them and love them! It’s the best. Continue to pray for them as they’re juggling the crazy schedule of being students. We’re longing for so much more & will continually stand for Jesus on the Universities and testify of the goodness of God together. The song, “And They Will Know We Are Christians by Our Love” just came into my head while writing this. May this be the message that is shown through our lives: A love that is never ending has touched & transformed us. We can’t help but love God back & love one another! Here we are in the prayer room on Gløshaugen’s campus.
Me, Magnus, Mats, Chuck, Ragnhild, Line, Kristina, Siri Helene
Autumn in Trondheim October 25, 2009
Just want to thank all of you who are continually praying for me, I feel it! Keep it coming, ’cause I’m well on my way to being over this!! I’ve received some good news…my liver isn’t swollen anymore!! yipeee. This is a good sign that my body is healing. AND…I’m surprisingly feeling a lot better as the days go by. I’ve been trying to continue to rest, though I told some friends, that I feel like a horse at the gates, just waiting for the gun to go off so I can bust out! But…I realize it takes time & still lots and lots of rest to recover from mono. I just couldn’t help myself though and had to take some walks the last few days to get some autumn air in my lungs & some movement to these muscles who have been neglected for too long. Here are some photos from the lovely days in Trondheim this past week.
Gløshaugen’s campus
Tea & I
Walking the streets of Trondheim towards Nidaros Church
picturesque park by the church
Line & I had a nice picnic
we love autumn!!
Norway enjoys the world’s highest quality of life October 10, 2009
http://ca.news.yahoo.com/s/capress/091005/national/as_un_quality_of_life (click here to read the whole article)
“A child born in Niger can expect to live to just over 50 years, which is 30 years less than a child born in Norway. Furthermore, the differences in per capita income are huge for every dollar earned per person in Niger, US$85 are earned in Norway,” UNDP said.
WOW. It’s great to be living in Norway, (minus the rough exchange rates…)Norway is blessed!! but I can’t help but want more! More for Norway & more for countries like Niger, who seem to only be recognized for their lack. I wonder what it would look like if they were to poll the spiritual climate in these 182 countries…i’m banking on the results to be quite different. Wealthy in many things, yes, but something seems to be missing here? There MUST be more! I’ve become increasingly more aware of the lack of hope here. My heart hurts for the people I meet who seem lost. The walls that many have put up around themselves. The loneliness and lack of vision. Don’t get me wrong, you’re going to find this everywhere, but the first thing that came to my mind was what makes life “quality”??
“…the UN Development Program, takes into account life expectancy, literacy, school enrollment and per capita gross domestic product in 182 countries.”
Though all these things are good to take into account for the index, I just can’t help but want to see people here filled with a joy that passes understanding. The type of joy that I saw radiating through the faces of friends & children I met while in Uganda. A peace and a reliance on something greater/SOMEONE GREATER than circumstances that seem to change. A hope for something unseen.
“Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.” 2Cor4:16-18
I pray for Norway today. I pray for Niger today. I long to see Jesus touch people in both places. To restore things that have been destroyed. I long to see in this generation, people who have hope & a life worth living. Regardless of social class, economic status, or world influence…there IS a life that satisfies. It’s found in Him. There is a full life. The HIGHEST quality of life and nothing can separate us from that. For we are loved!
“For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.” Rom 8:38-39
All that said…i think i got a lot out of that short little article….my blog has become a great journal while being sick. 
